Answering this question, I believe that some is surely needed. I was tasked with sleep training our 13 month old baby and no amount of developmental and behavioral training was enough to conquer the task. I never sleep trained Angelica and Jorge sleep trained Yoyi in 3 days at about 6 months, when I got sick with the flu. From this really challenging experience, I did learn a lot of important information, so I am happy to share with any other sleep deprived souls.
I knew right away that I didn’t just want to let him cry. I understand that is a known strategy and one that has been thoroughly documented in several books, but I don’t have the heart to hear my child cry for an hour. Yes, he can cry for hours and not give up.
I can go into detail on all the different things I tried which included a bottle before bed, snuggles, laying down with him, walking him around the room, all to no avail. He cried every time I moved away. I would be standing next to the crib with him sound asleep and as soon as I moved away he would start screaming again. I will, however, provide you with these not so innovative tips:
-The first few nights will be very difficult: plan on making the transition during a weekend or some time when you do not have to get up early the following day. Mine ended up going into the week but that first Friday and Saturday were really hard.
-Try as much as you can to not pick up the baby. I know you will want to, but try to comfort him/her while still inside the crib. Taking them out only to place them back in will just make the crying worse.
-Talk to your baby, unless he is 3 months old and can’t understand you. I know my child had his heart set on going back into bed with me but I believe explaining what we were working on and why, was important. I know he understands me more than I know. I also wanted to make sure he knew what was happening, and not just that mom had abandoned him in this strange place.
-Be consistent but flexible: I know we believe consistency is the way to solve all behavioral problems and in many instances it is, but we should also be flexible when trying to find what works. Explore different ways until you find the one that makes your child more comfortable before bed.
-Understand what is important during this transition: We all have different priorities and needs. When sleep training, there were several things of major importance that I wanted to address. These included eliminating the mid night feeding and ensuring he slept in his crib the majority of the night. I didn’t really care about where he feel asleep as long as he would stay in his crib after I placed him there asleep. Your priorities may be different and therefore you may want to focus your attention on certain patterns.
-Remember that all children are different: I can’t say this enough and I can’t tell myself this enough. My children are all so different from each other. Holding one to meet the milestones of another is an unfair practice. How other children transitioned into sleep routines has very little bearing on how this process will go for your child. Understand that he/she is a unique individual.
-Perfect doesn’t exist and that is ok. It will not be perfect and if it is, I am so happy for you. But go into it with the idea that it will be hard and challenging like all great things are. It will be messy and you will feel defeated, exhausted, and questioning your sanity at times.
–Know that it will get better: It will get better and your child will learn. It may take them some time but they will enjoy sleeping by themselves so much that they will ask to go to their room at night, and very seriously ask you to leave. And then you will miss all the times they cried for you.
Enjoy the challenges, embrace the crazy, and stay positive.
